happy halloween

Bridget's first Halloween was my first in a way, too. Yes, I've dressed up before, but I've never handed out candy or gone trick-or-treating. It's a pagan holiday, religious thing (ask my dad; he and mom made the decision, not me). And while Bridget didn't go out trick-or-treating (what's the point? she can't eat the candy), we did hand out candy--the first time ever for mommy. But we'll get back to that; this is about Bridget.

Bridget's first Halloween was a full day--out to brunch with mommy and daddy at Kerby's Coney Island, then a short nap and on with the Halloween costume. I made her a pumpkin outfit, which I've deemed the Great Pumpkin. No, she won't appear in a pumpkin patch and hand out gifts to all of the girls and boys. But "great" she was--in size, that is. I've got pics here to prove it!

After we donned the pumpkin costume (and unloaded the stuffing, since she couldn't fit in the car seat), we headed over to see Grandma and Grandpa (Al's parents). Bridget played with Grandma, who couldn't get over how cute her granddaughter was. Then we headed off to a party that our association threw for the sub. We ended up leaving a bit early, because, let's face it--when your daughter's seven months old and for once not interested in the other children and you don't know any adults (and no one is making an effort to speak to you, or you to them), the party gets kinda lame.

After the party we went for a family walk, dog included. It was chilly! The wind was blowing in our faces for the first half of the walk, but it was better when the wind was at our backs. Bridget was so warm and comfy in her pumpkin outfit that she conked out on the way back, and ended up sleeping on the couch for about half an hour after the walk--just enough time for me to make dinner.

We got our first trick-or-treaters just when we were sitting down to eat, before it was dark. I had Al hand out the candy so I could see what he did (I know, maybe stupid, but I didn't want to do it "wrong"!). Then, after dinner, I was too excited to stay away from the living room. Al agreed to camp out in there despite the fact that there isn't a television. We brought Bridget's toy-basket (she doesn't have a toybox, or whatever it's called--I just use a basket that Beth gave us for the shower) in and she sat and played while Al strummed on the guitar and I tried to sing along (I couldn't follow him; he was trying to remember a song and wasn't going at a recognizable/regular speed). I kept waiting and waiting for the trick-or-treaters, and when they did come, I gave them huge handfuls of candy (more than Al thought I should give). Turns out it's a good thing I did; we didn't get very many groups (maybe seven or eight?) and only a few kids were in each group. I only went through one bowl of candy and ended up with another full bowl left. I also forgot to check out the costumes (Al asked, "What were they dressed as?" Me: "I don't know."), but the kids didn't seem to want comments on their costumes like they do on TV. They just wanted candy. The only one that seemed to care about her costume was a little green witch, there with her brother, who was dressed as Darth Vader. She walked up and said, "I'm not Yoda. Oh, trick or treat." Guess she must have been teased about that by her family. :)

Near the end of the night, Bridget saw the candy bowl and decided that she needed her first Halloween candy. She sure had fun playing with it! We turned out the light around 8:30 p.m., she had her bottle, and went to bed. A great first Halloween for Bridget. For more pics, see her October album.

pre-halloween, day two

Tigger. Enough said.

pre-halloween costume numero uno

Okay, I confess. I'm one of those moms that has more than one Halloween costume for her kid. What can I say? I like to dress Bridget up--I never liked to play with dolls as a kid, so I'm getting my kicks in with my daughter instead. Besides, today's costume and tomorrow's were $1 and free, respectively. I figure we can afford that.

Bridget's pre-pre-Halloween costume is a ballerina, pictured here. And so cute, if I do say so myself! Odds are that she probably won't be a ballerina (so far, it looks like she has my build, which is not inducive to dancing, no matter how much I wish it otherwise--but if she wants to dance as a kid, she's going to!). And even if she does learn to dance, she won't be learning how to dance from Dani, since he moved to Seattle (boo). But whether she's a dancer later in life or not, she's dressed up as one today.

Love that little cutie!

laughter

Kids laugh at the smallest things.

I love this QuickTime video, even though I had to make a couple of rough cuts (my husband isn't the handiest with a camera). We were headed out to eat on our we-met-ten-years-ago-anniversary (I've backdated the post to that date) and I picked up a window-shade I wasn't using and pulled it down, hid behind it, and then pushed the button to release the shade so it rolled up and revealed me. Bridget thought it was hilarious. She has such a good laugh!

make new friends, but keep the old...

Bridget made several new friends over the past few days--and I don't have pictures of any of them! I'm supposed to be getting some from Jackson's daddy (Jackson is the nine-month-old son of my friends Krista and Phil), but so far all I've received is this one of her by herself. I'm sure I'll get more pics eventually (hint, hint :) ).

Saturday was a full day, beginning with a mom2mom sale for mommy (had to get winter coats and stuff) and a morning with Aunt Theresa, Uncle Bill, and cousins Neil and Andy for Bridget. I hear that her cousins, especially, loved her--and when I got back, she was taking a walk/nap with Aunt Theresa. Then we were off to visit Pam, John, Natalie, and Amanda, a family I've known since...um, don't know the year, but since Natalie was in first grade. I was her Vacation Bible School teacher, she fell in love with me (who wouldn't?), and begged for me to babysit. I think I was Natalie and Amanda's first babysitter outside of family, and I know I was their favorite. They were my favorites, too--anyone else that called looking for a sitter got directed to my sister (notice the agentless prose there--yes, I was the one that did the directing). The cat was fascinated with her, and she with the cat. And the people adored Bridget and said she was the happiest baby they've ever seen. She is quite happy! Then, Saturday afternoon was Jackson time. They mostly tried to steal each other's toys and smiled and cooed at each other and us while us parents chatted and Phil snapped a ton of pics. It was a full day, but a fun one.

Sunday was just mommy and Bridget time since Al was at work, and I wish I could say it was a happy, lazy day. That's what I wanted. But Bridget was a bit needy, and after she woke up from her nap at 1:00 p.m., she wouldn't let me put her down unless she was in the stroller or being fed. By 5:30 p.m. I was exhausted and on my last straw between the hitting, hair-pulling, scratching, and undressing I was enduring from Bridget and the wild state that the dog was in. I called in the troops--Al came home from work an hour early and took care of Bridget while I made lasagna for the next couple of days. She went to bed shortly after he left for hockey, so I had a bit of time to myself to watch my guilty pleasure, The Vampire Diaries (love).

Monday was uneventful, but Tuesday saw us going to visit more new people (new for Bridget, anyway). She had already met my friends Ruthann and David, but now she got to meet their gorgeous daughters, Maria (7) and Makala (6). Makala made drawings and wrote notes to Bridget all night, and Maria practiced her speech for us (second grade and already having to give speeches in school) and played Super Mario Brothers on her Nintendo DS (that game's been around a long time). We all got to have a nice time visiting, and (of course) everyone loved Bridget. And now she has several new friends! What fun. Thanks, everyone, for wonderful visits.

michigan tradition

Last night, we visited the apple orchard. If you live in Michigan, you know: fall is the time to visit the apple orchard and cider mill, to eat doughnuts and drink--cider, of course! Besides, I couldn't pass up the photo opp for my gorgeous baby girl (although if I'd have planned it before I took her to daycare, I'd have put her in a cuter outfit!).

It was cold (in the forties) and a bit of a whirlwind of outdoor activity since Daddy didn't think he needed a jacket (he was wrong), but Bridget had a lot of fun. I didn't go to the lengths of actually sitting her down in the pumpkin patch for a picture (I was tempted, and would have if I had her Halloween costume finished and on her), but we got some great pics with pumpkins and hay (no apples, though...hmm, I'll have to rethink that next year!). The baby goats came right up to her (they probably expected food, since they left shortly after realizing they weren't getting any), the mama goat brayed and brayed like a mad little donkey, the pigs stank (who knew? pigpens really do smell horrible!), and the hens ran away. We didn't even bother with the geese (they're all over Michigan, although the variety they had at the orchard looked like they had fur along with feathers, they were so fluffy). And then came--da da da da (humming in my head), the doughnuts.

Mommy (okay, I admit, it was me) got cinnamon sugar, Daddy (a.k.a. Al) got plain, and I got cider to go along with mine. Bridget got to sit on the table, pull napkins out of the dispenser (she just reached around and pulled them out first thing), bang on the half-gallon of cider, and eat little bites of mommy's doughnuts (yes, I had more than one), all while getting her picture snapped a gazillion times (okay, more like 140 times during the short period we were there, between Al and I--digital cameras have turned us insane. About half turned out okay). And then she conked out on the way home, acted insanely silly for an hour after we got home, drank ten ounces of milk, and stayed up til 10:00 p.m. A bit too much sugar, perhaps? But she had fun, so did we, and we got some good pics. Enjoy those here, along with some other pics taken this month.

And please forgive my insanely unnecessary use of excessive parentheses...

rediscovery

One thing I love about having a daughter: everything is new, everything is fascinating, and everything lights up her face with joy. Take, for instance, running water. Bridget was so fascinated with it the other day (you can see it for yourself in this QuickTime video--download the player here if you don't have it). What fascinated me was the way she moved (and watched) her hand, trying to capture the water and hold onto it.

Enjoy the video--I know I enjoyed the experience. Watching her just puts love and joy in my heart.

dear bridget

Dear Bridget,

Try not to be like me when you grow up, sweetie. I'm trying to be a better person (I don't deserve to be your mom), but it doesn't always work that way. Good thing God's got me covered when I mess up.

I'll say this right now before you're old enough to remember: I'm sorry for the times I lose my temper, either with your daddy or with you (or others, though I'm honestly not as sorry at those times because I don't love others as much as I love you). You might hear mommy raise her voice now and then, but I'm doing my best to stop that. Instead, this is the type of mom (and wife) I want to be:

One who's loving and caring and never grows impatient. One who shows respect for others at all times and never loses her temper. One who is gentle and kind. One who is happy and loves God and then shows her love for God to all who are around. One who you can be proud of. One who can be a good example for you. One who--maybe, someday, deserves to be a mom to such a wonderful, funny, sweet, adorable little girl.

I love you, Bridget, and I'll do my best to be the best for you.

Love, Mommy

first cold

My darling daughter has her first cold.

As we went to bed last night, I told Al that he had to get up with Bridget if she woke up during the night. She's been doing so frequently lately because her two bottom teeth are poking through her gums (I can finally see the tips of them!) and making their slow, excruciating way into their semi-permanent position (semi-permanent because she'll lose them someday, of course). My logic for making Al get up? One, she's on a half-formula, half-breastfeeding diet plus lots and lots of solid food (even meats) so he can get up and give her a bottle or just rock her back to sleep if she needs it (no, not with a ten-pound rock). Two, I have to work today (that's what I'm supposedly doing right now, grading) and he doesn't. Yeah, but. Didn't work that way.

I think he actually did get up with her once, but when she woke up at 3 a.m. and I tried telling him that she was awake and he needed to take care of her, I heard a grunt and then snores. Hmph. Since she was happy, saying "Dadada" over and over again, I let her lie there (lay? I never did bother figuring that one out). About 3:40 a.m. she started crying, so I dragged myself to a sitting position, found my robe and slippers, and stood up. Suddenly, Bridget cut herself off in the middle of a loud cry. Hmm. I turned on the hallway light, walked into her room, and she was asleep. Repeat waking/playing/crying cycle a couple of times, and I finally just decided to get her up during the playing cycle at 5 a.m. (Of course, Al never woke up this entire time.) I figured I'd get more rest by breastfeeding her than having her interrupt my dozing every few minutes, and she'd be comforted by my presence even if her gums were bothering her. Only problem was, when I picked her up she was burning up.

I took her temp. 100.6 degrees. Changed her diaper, stripped off her pjs, gave her infant tylenol (no, it wasn't in the recalled batch) and went in to wake up Al. Said his name loudly four times before he woke up with an irritated "What?" Told him about the fever and about being upset that he didn't get up with her two hours earlier (I was scared; my baby's never had a fever and I wasn't quite sure what to do. I think I was hoping he'd get scared, too, to justify my fear). Told him I was going to feed her and see if her fever went down. He mumbled something and went back to sleep. I took her into the living room, stretched out on the lazyboy I still haven't returned to dad (borrowed it during my pregnancy), fed my baby and cried and prayed.

Fever went down, nurse said, "Doctors will tell you that teeth coming in doesn't bring on a fever, but many mothers swear by it that it does. But better come in to check out her ears since she's been a little congested." We went in at 9:30 a.m. this morning, ears are fine, doc says it's "just a cold," which means they don't really know what's wrong and so we'll label it a cold. That's fine. She has cold-like symptoms (sometimes) and we've ruled out something worse, which is what I was worried about. And except for evenings and night-time, when she's really tired, Bridget is in her normal high spirits. She may not be as hungry, but we all know that food does just not taste good when you're sick (usually).

Get better soon, Bridget. I love you. (And I'd really like some more sleep...)

chatterbox

Bridget made her second phone call this morning. She made the first one quite a while ago, on August 25. That day she called Aunt Beth and mommy had to send Beth a text letting her know why I called and left a silent voice mail. This morning, she called my friend Krista. We're actually going to see Krista, her husband Phil (I think), and their son Jackson tomorrow and it'll be Bridget's first time meeting all of them. She's so excited that she had to call and confirm--again! Luckily, mommy caught the phone call in time to leave more than just a grunt on the voice mail; I got to tell Krista what was really going on.

Bridget's such a little chatterbox. Her current favorite is saying "dadadadada" over and over (I keep telling her that dada's at work and I'm mama, but she just doesn't get it). She's talking so much all the time (like mommy, thank God, rather than the silent type like daddy; that would drive me crazy!) that I know these phone calls of hers are just the beginning...

smiles for daddy

One thing I love: Bridget breaks into a huge smile whenever she hears Al's voice or sees his face. And she belly laughs at the simplest things he does (of course, I could try for hours and only get a half-hearted, "huh" [not even a "ha"]). She's definitely daddy's girl. So much for his fears that she won't like him.

Here she is making a classic "Al face." Beth always says that while she looks like me, Bridget's expressions are all Al's.

september's blog post

I know I'm beginning to sound like a broken record, but... Wow! I can't believe how long it's been since I posted! I'm going to try to go at least weekly again, I swear...

Bridget is almost officially six and a half months old (she will be tomorrow). She is also about 20 pounds (I wasn't until I was nine months old, according to my baby book) and 28 inches. That equals twelve-month clothing, people. She is fascinated with my hair and has discovered her own (she likes to touch and pull mine, and I have caught her rubbing her own head as if in comparison). She likes noses, both grabbing onto them and, for the past few weeks, putting her finger into them (other people's, not her own). She started waving "Hi!" officially today. I say officially because Auntie Laura (daycare Auntie) thinks she's been doing it for about a week, but I think those two times were just her way of touching things (like the screen door). She likes to hit the palm of her hand or her fingertips against different surfaces in order to feel them. Today, though, she started studying her hand, bending her fingers as if waving to herself, and then waving her entire arm frantically every time I said, "Hi, Bridget!" She also loves the praise when I clap and say, "Yay!"

Bridget loves daycare, by the way. Never missed me one bit. Since day one, she has had a wonderful time screeching at the other children (I have a loud, talkative daughter!), played hard, and slept hard (takes three hour naps there, too). She came home during week one sitting up on her own. Al actually saw it before I did, because the second day she was in, I ended up with a migraine so bad that I couldn't keep anything down. Al took care of her after he got home so I could go to sleep. The next night, I was watching Bridget and Al play and couldn't believe she was sitting by herself. Al said, "Oh, yeah, she was doing that last night." Like, Big deal. I've seen this already. And here he was disappointed that I get to see everything first...

Another thing Bridget can do is say "Dada." I know she doesn't really know it's a word yet, but she tries out a lot of sounds now (I swear she sounds like a little Chinese baby because of the sounds she makes!) and imitated me right away when I said, "Say 'Dada.'" She does it over and over and over again, too, and she even whispers sometimes. So cute! Not crawling yet (younger cousin Lily is though--go Lily!), and no teeth yet even though she's been gnawing on stuff for about two or three months now. I didn't get my first teeth until I was seven months, but I keep expecting to see hers any day. We'll see how long it takes them to come in. This month was chock full of activity, from the Renaissance Festival to the park (we went on my birthday) and the family reunion. And in about half an hour (if I can get her up and fed in time--just heard her, so I might just make it) we're headed to dad's for a family dinner (I made chili). Til next time!

Oh, here are some pics: Renaissance Festival, Family Reunion, September pics

from daily to monthly

Bridget is standing in my lap and begging to write a blog of her own right now. Either that, or eat my pile of post-its.

It's been another month (already?) since I've blogged, and Bridget's on to several tasty, homemade foods (I love the book Top 100 Baby Purees by Annabel Karmel) and so far hasn't rejected a thing. She gobbles up bananas, though, and makes a funny face at green beans when they're warm. She's an ambi-roller now (Zoolander reference) and has six teeth that are visible, but haven't quite broken through the gums yet (the "fangs," as Rachel calls them, on top and bottom, and the two middle teeth in the front). She now sucks her bottom lip in and tries to talk with her mouth closed ("mmm, mmm, mmm..."). She's in twelve-month clothing (except for pants--they're too long still) and only has about three outfits that fit, so mommy has to go shopping (and do laundry). She's gone to the zoo (ignored the animals, loved the kids), Music in the Park (loved watching the kids, again), and is sociable again (doesn't throw a fit when someone besides mommy holds her). She had her first ride in a shopping cart (but her butt slid sideways) and can almost sit up by herself (I think that and crawling will come soon--friends have told me that when she starts rocking on hands and knees, she's about to crawl). She loves bathtime and splashes up a storm (mommy is literally soaked by the time she's through). She loves cousins Noah and Ella (and Lily, but seems more expressive when looking at the other two). She tries to pet Mya (who's one today, by the way). And she starts daycare in two and a half weeks when mommy goes back to work! (I'm teaching one class and getting ready for my exams starting in September. I don't want to hand her over and miss the majority of her waking hours, even if she is going to be with family!)

Finally, she's getting crabby and hungry since she didn't nap today and it's been almost two hours since she finished her mid-afternoon meal. Here are pictures! Maybe I'll even blog again later this month, but if not, more in September...

catching up

It's been so long since I blogged that I don't know where to begin! Let's see...

Bridget turned four months old on Monday. She also had her check-up and immunizations (we've decided to follow the recommended schedule for immunizations; there's enough unbiased research out there that could not come up with connections between immunizations and autism even though they tried that I'm comfortable with the CDC recommendations). But what I was most excited about was discovering her height and weight: 27 inches, 16.5 pounds! "The size of a typical eight-month old," the doctor's office tells me. No wonder she's suddenly wearing her nine-month clothing. The bummer: the recommended don't-go-over-this-height for her car seat--the kind you can leave the base in and take the seat out--is 27 inches. Since she sits with her legs bent to the side anyway (knees aiming toward the sides of the seat), I'm going to try to keep her in it until she's a bit steadier sitting up. Otherwise, it'll be a nightmare trying to go shopping with her. She'd either be stuffed in the shopping carts with blankets or I'd have to try to carry her, which gets tiresome for both of us (my arms start aching pretty quickly these days!).

With such a big, hungry girl on our hands (she typically eats anywhere from 6-10 ounces of milk at a feeding, depending on the time of day), the doctor said we could start foods right away. Although I plan on making most of the baby food she eats, our doctor recommended using the packaged 1st Foods before I start making my own; they have a very strict sterilization process that they follow when cleaning and preparing the foods, and so these are the "purest" forms of food you can get. That's important for the first time a baby eats something; it's easier to determine whether they have food allergies or not. If I gave her my own prepared foods first, she might ingest a leftover chemical/something else (I honestly have no idea, because I forgot what the doc said) and have a reaction to that while seeming to react to the food. Makes sense to me, and I want to be careful about checking for allergies because I know that I'm allergic to strawberries and soy. Bridget may not have my allergies (or any), but I was reading online that if parents have food allergies, children are more likely to have them--although they may be to different items.

So, all of that "teachery" stuff was just to say that Al and I (well, I while Al watched and filmed and remained silent, even though I encouraged him to talk) fed Bridget her first "food" yesterday: watered-down (with breast milk) organic brown rice cereal. And as far as foods go, it's a rather non-dramatic choice if you're hoping for a facial reaction from the kid. It's not much different from what she's been eating, but that's the idea: start them out slowly, let their stomach get used to digesting something other than milk. Personally, I can't wait til we start the veggies next week: yellows/oranges and then greens, then fruits after that (doc: "Of course you'll want to wait for fruit. Who would want to eat their vegetables after tasting yummy, sweet fruit?" Immediately my brother Erik came to mind. He liked spinach and brussels sprouts when he was a kid. Eww. [I do like spinach now, though.]). Bridget didn't have much reaction to the taste, although I think she was paying more attention to the getting-food-on-a-spoon thing than anything else. And she couldn't quite figure out how to get that food down her throat. I had one of those huge plastic pouch bibs on her and thought for sure everything I had fed her was in that pouch, since it all kept dribbling down her chin and onto her neck and bib. She would push her tongue out instead of using it to help her swallow. But I'm sure she'll get the hang of it. I'm going to make it a bit thicker today (it was very, very soupy yesterday, since--again--that's what "they" recommend) and feed it to her when she wakes up. (Just about now, actually.)

Before I go, I'll mention the other reason I've been MIA. I'm getting over a case of mastitis. It's basically a bacterial infection that you can get when you're breastfeeding; I got mine because of a blocked milk duct. I spent a couple of very, very painful days (burning, sensitivity, etc.) dealing with it before I was able to get antibiotics, and 90% of Bridget's feedings have been either freshly expressed (pumped) or frozen breast milk for the last two weeks. That's another reason I'm glad we're starting food: I'm not sure I'd be able to supply all of her milk anymore once I ran out of my frozen supply. Try as I might, the feeding/pumping schedule got thrown off because it took me a couple of days to figure out how to bottle-feed Bridget and pump at the same time. So we'll see how that goes in the future.

Okay, baby's waking up now, so gotta go. Oh, wait--I completely forgot! Bridget can now roll from her stomach to her back. When she woke me up at 4:30 a.m. (actually, that's become rare again--she's been sleeping nine hours lately), I walked in to find her on her back and new I didn't lay her down like that. I knew it was coming--she came close a few times but always got stopped by the side of her crib--but was disappointed that I didn't see it all the same. That's okay, because she did it for me before I got her out of her crib later this morning (I'm writing this a few hours after the "gotta go" part). My little girl's growing up fast!

And here are some recent photos...

call in the fire brigade!

Warning: Never let Alan near a stovetop. Why, you ask? Because yesterday, for the second time in ten years, he managed to start a kitchen fire.

Some of you may recall the infamous macaroni and cheese incident of 1999(ish). I won't go into details, but suffice it to say that the saucepan he was using was a victim of the fire and he had to shell out some money to get his roommate's leather jacket cleaned. That, and clean the walls and upholstery and...you get the picture. And let's be fair: this time, it was midafternoon and my husband was actually trying to clean the kitchen, softening up the bacon grease that had solidified from the previous evening's supper. He couldn't find the jar I keep grease in (it's not good for the pipes, you know), so came in to ask me. And I proceeded to talk and talk and talk, and he forgot. Suddenly--beep, beep, beep, beep (that's our insanely loud, annoying smoke detector that finally did the job it was supposed to do this time as opposed to, say, warning me that there was steam coming from my shower)--and we walked out into a kitchen with eight-inch flames leaping from the skillet. At least the skillet is salvageable this time: it's cast iron.

"Do we have any baking soda?" Al asked, clearly annoyed. He had already turned off the stovetop and moved the skillet to a cool burner. I pointed to it, made sure he used it, and ran to close Bridget's door and turn on her ceiling fan. By the time I was done with that, he had flung open doors and come to get a fan to pull the smoke out of the house. I grabbed another fan, and by the time I got it plugged in next to another door, my throat was burning and I could barely breathe. I woke up my baby (her only nap of the day, and she had only been down fifteen minutes--go figure) and took her outside with me while Al stayed in the house and flung open all of the windows and then wandered around for some unknown reason instead of coming outside. Maybe the smoke had already gotten to his brain at that point--who knows?

We eventually wandered back into the house and everything returned to normal, except it now all smells faintly of smoke (and Al was hoping against hope that he won't have to wash the walls again). It was a rare day of excitement in our family. Oh, and did I mention I was trying to work yesterday? Our fun little incident squashed that for the day, which means I'm working on a Saturday. Grrr.

we interrupt this editing job...

Darn. Didn't get the $1,200 editing gig that would have been easier (and more interesting, subject-wise) than the cheaper job I'm doing (and taking a break from) now. Oh, well. On to other things...

Last year at this time I was in a fitness boot camp and working out between 5:30 and 6:30 am three to five days a week (started at three, upped it to five and then found out I was pregnant. No wonder the strangest things--like standing up after being on the ground--were making me dizzy!). Since I can't really afford the $300/month price tag this year (or be away from the house at that time, since Al leaves for work before then), I decided this past Sunday that, starting Monday, I would do it on my own from 5:00 to 6:00 am. Well, Bridget had other plans.

On Monday morning (although I usually still consider this part of the previous night), Bridget woke up hungry at 3:30 am. This after drinking about 7 ozs. from a bottle before bed. Tuesday, she awoke at 4:50 am. Today, 4:53 am. I think I see a pattern here.

Now, I'm actually usually up around 5ish to pump--gotta fill those bottles so Al can still keep trying to feed her at night (although she's been quite the mama's girl when she gets tired at night lately), and they come in handy when I'm out visiting people (I'm not one of those breastfeed in public moms--I've hated being around that since I was a kid and almost didn't breastfeed because of it). Plus, I'm storing up for when Laura, my brother's mom-in-law, takes care of her in daycare starting in September (too soon!). So she's seriously depleting my stored milk supply and throwing all of my plans into the wind. Ha ha, mommy! You can't plan anything too strictly without my okay--I'm in charge! Yeah, only for now, little girl. And for now, exercise plans are once again on hold.

But editing is on--at least two to three hours a day, now--and I've got an old friend lined up to help me build a website for this quilting business that I want to start, if I can talk my hubby into letting me pay her for her wonderful work (check it out: www.jenniebanta.com). And I have to check into setting things up legally. The name I wanted is taken in the wonderful world of the web, so I've chosen another one that I'm keeping all to my lonesome right now. It'll be a surprise! And I would like to focus more on quilts than crib sets, but I'll do it all if it'll make me money and a successful businesswoman (still custom, though; I don't want a million quilts sitting around that aren't going to make me any money!).

As for Bridget, well, she's just a joy and the love of my life. And into meeting other babies now (pictured here with cousin Noah and Aunt Judy--and me, of course--courtesy of Meaghan). Til next time!

the greatest show on earth

Prepare to be amazed. Prepare to be astounded. Prepare to be enchanted by the cuteness and cleverness that is our Bridget. Da da da da...(drumroll)...

Bridget rolled over today!

Okay, so it's a pretty standard feat when it comes to babies. But when you're the mommy, and she's your first, it's something else. Especially when you weren't expecting it. Here we were, out on the patio and I had just pulled a few weeds. I glanced back over and Bridget was completing the back-to-tummy rollover. I was amazed! I was astounded! I was enchanted! And I called Al, told him, and ran and got my camera for the second-ever rollover that was Bridget's. It's below, but it's about 3 1/2 minutes long. She's now got it down to about 45 seconds, thank you very much. But I thought the second attempt was the more impressive video.

Three months yesterday, Bridget is weighing in at approximately 14 pounds. Al and I did the I-get-on-the-scale-with-her and then without her thing the other day, so that's why it's approximate. She's a bit taller, too, but I'm not quite sure how much because I don't know how they measure babies. Crown of head to heel, or to tiptoe? If tiptoe, she's grown a lot, if heel, a bit. But I haven't actually brought my ruler or tape measure for a while, so I'm not quite sure how much. We'll figure it out soon enough and get back to you.

Oh, and Al's already forgotten his daughter's birthday. He told his brother, Mike, that Bridget is "somewhere between three and a half and four months old" earlier this week, then got off the phone and asked me how old she was. "I couldn't think of when she was born," he said, "and couldn't figure it out." Eyeroll. That's my darling husband and his no-good, horrible memory for you!

Enjoy til next time (and I'm off to editing again starting tomorrow, so it might be about a week or two...),

Rhonda :)

bridget's first laugh

Our second wedding anniversary, and Bridget graced us with the gift of laughter.

let's hurry it up, mommy

I'm posting with a baby in my lap, so if there are more spelling, grammar, and punctuation errors than normal, forgive me. I tend to have SPG errors on my mind since I'm in the midst of the second of four editing jobs that I got within the space of two days last week (not easy when you've got an infant!). Hence the lack of posts.

Despite the time I should be spending on editing (which I cannot do with a baby in my lap, unless it's a final go-through), I had to post. I can't believe how much stuff Bridget is doing within the space of a few days. Last Thursday night, I realized for the first time that she is learning from me. It never occurred to me that she would, but I have been either pushing my lips together or sticking my tongue out at her and blowing air to make that "bbbbb" sound because she thinks it's funny and gives me big smiles. I was watching The Bachelorette (go Jake) on dvr Thursday night (I know, just didn't feel like watching hockey alone since Al was with the guys) and to my amazement she started doing it back to me. I couldn't believe it. Al arrived home right about that time and confirmed that I wasn't imagining things, and my aunts and cousin (Judy, Carolyn, and Julie) saw it on Friday, too, so it wasn't just proud parents dreaming things up. Of course, her version is full of bubbles and saliva, but it's cute! Unfortunately, I'm already getting tired of feeling obligated to react (yay Bridget! great job! and clapping) each time she does it, so now I'm consciously trying to teach her a kissy face. We'll see how that goes!

Also on Thursday (or maybe Friday), Bridget started deliberately trying to hold her bottle when Al feeds her. She had held onto it before, but that was more by chance; this is definitely deliberate, and a bit frustrating since she keeps popping it out of her mouth on mistake. (Back after an intermission--Bridget is now napping. Much easier to type.) Not to mention that she hasn't wanted a bottle the past few nights and cries the first half hour or so we try to get her to take it. But she's been taking it so long at that time of night now that mommy just can't provide enough to satisfy her then anymore. :(

The other big thing she started doing--just last night, in fact--is trying to stand. Of course, she needs lots of help holding her weight up and is still doing the top-heavy stand (usually), but this is the first time she's actually initiated it and wanted to keep doing it. I was encouraging her to stand since I saw my nephew doing it when he was three months old (he's six weeks older than Bridget), but last night she was watching herself in the mirror and just started trying to do it on her own. It was so cute the way she kept smiling and kept at the job of standing--that must be so tiring for her little legs! She kept on for at least twenty minutes.

Bridget also has a few favorite songs, which I could save for another post, but don't want to forget about. I always sing "You Are My Sunshine" to her, and she loves that so much that she tries to sing along. But I've started singing "Good Morning" from Singing In the Rain to her every morning and she loves it. Of course, I change the words to make it more appropriate (this kid isn't going to know the real words to any songs if I keep this up): Good morning, good morning! You've slept the whole night through. Good morning, good morning to you. Good morning, good morning! It's great to sleep in late! Good morning, good morning, to you. (And each morning Gene Kelly and Donald O'Connor are murmuring, "Nothing could be grander than to be in Louisiana" and "It might be just a zippy if you was in Mississippi" in the back of my head as I sing.) But one of her favorite songs that almost always manages to calm her down is "Somewhere Over the Rainbow" by Israel Kamakawiwo. If you've never heard it, it's a combination of "Somewhere Over the Rainbow" and "What a Wonderful World." I play that song and she quiets down and listens with interest. Gotta love it!

Okay, gotta work while I've got a chance, but more when I'm done editing in a few days. Have a great week!

where's the manual?

As I was showering this morning and wondering when Bridget's pediatrician would recommend we start putting cereal in her bottle, I realized that I've been waiting for the instruction manual. I think they forgot to give it to me at the hospital, or maybe the pediatrician was supposed to give it to me and didn't do it. Because after Bridget's four-month appointment (scheduled for July 13), she probably won't have to go back until, I don't know, a six-month appointment? And surely she will be eating "solid" foods by then (as in, mushy baby food). But when? And what? What will she be allowed to have and at what age? My gotta-plan-ahead mentality even wondered if there's a Child-Rearing for Dummies handbook. Those guys have everything. If not, then I'll start writing them for year-by-year instructions and it'll turn into one of Al's get-rich-quick schemes. Hey, I'm good at manuals. I'm a technical writer by training, after all.

As I blog and take precious schoolwork time (Al's watching Bridget just so I can do schoolwork), I know one thing for sure: Bridget's first food will not be liver, as mine was. I didn't like it (still don't), and that's proven because my parents got it on Super-8 video. I will get Bridget's first food on video, too, but as to what it will be, I have no idea yet. I'm still secretly (I guess not so secretly, now) hoping for a list of "okay" foods and "hold off on this" foods at my next pediatrician's appointment. I know kids can start eating solids anywhere between four and seven months, and since Bridget's a big girl, I'm suspecting she'll need them in the earlier months. I'll just have to do some research before she reaches that age, I guess. Child-Rearing, here I come.

P.S. For those of you wondering, no, I'm not robbing the cradle. That's my brother Erik holding Bridget. My husband's forty. :)

today is a new day

Yesterday was the first day since giving birth (thus, officially, becoming a mom) that I doubted myself and my abilities as a parent. For someone who is almost irrationally emotional sometimes, I had been pleasantly surprised by how easily I was able to take everything baby-related in stride and how naturally motherhood came to me. But after a fussy Saturday afternoon and evening, to be faced with an entire day of crying and screaming (Sunday) was not easy. I found myself getting worked up, stressed out, and crying right along with Bridget.

If you ask me why Bridget's been so fussy lately, I'll tell you I don't know. I have clues: she does what she can to avoid naps. The last (and longest) nap she's taken since Saturday morning was a 25-minute nap that afternoon. So, fighting naps already = overtired baby, but I don't think that's all of it. Sometimes I wonder if she's teething since she's incredibly drooly lately (I've given up on trying to keep her shirts dry) and--when I can get a glimpse inside there--I think I can actually see the outlines of her two front, top teeth underneath her gums. My imagination? I don't know. I do know that while kids can get teeth as early as three months (she'll be three months in less than two weeks), a lot of kids don't get them til several months later. I didn't get my first tooth til I was seven months old (having your own baby book helps!). And from what I've read, the bottom incisors usually appear first and I can't see anything in her bottom gums. If those are her teeth I'm seeing, they've got a way to go--about an eighth of an inch, I'd say--until they break through the gumline. If they're bothering her already? Oh, boy. Lots of fussy days and evenings ahead of me. I've been letting her have her pacifier more often on the off chance that they are teeth. Teethers won't fit into her tiny mouth yet.

Me, I've discovered that--especially on a fussy day like yesterday--I'm much better off at home alone with my daughter than trying to be around other people. Al was off yesterday, but actually got called in for a few hours in the morning. By the time he got back, Bridget had already eaten twice (she normally would have only eaten once in the amount of time he'd been gone) and had screamed quite a bit (refusing a nap, of course). She didn't really have her playtime yesterday morning--refused it--and instead I tried to keep her calm until her next feeding, which made us late getting over to my dad's house. Dad was having us and the rest of the family over for a barbecue. We left with a screaming baby and a panting dog in the backseat. Bridget fell asleep on the way there, but she woke up when the car stopped (normal for her). She was actually calm in her carseat until Uncle Erik picked her up (he loves his niece! It's so cute.). Then the screaming began in earnest. He got her calmed down after several minutes, I took a picture, and she started screaming again. I ended up feeding her while everyone else ate.

Hoping against hope that Bridget would take a nap when she finished eating, I put her in the Pack & Play that dad keeps at his house. She thought it was tummy time. Then daddy (Al) turned her over. She played for a few minutes, then the screaming began. Beth took her and tried to calm her down since I had said I needed an entire day off (impossible since I'm breastfeeding; even if someone took her, I'd be pumping several times during the day). It bothered me so much to try to let someone else calm her down that I went into a spare bedroom and cried. Then Al tried to calm me down and talk me out of going to get her from Beth. It didn't work. I never thought I'd be the mom who wouldn't hand her crying kid over to someone else, but it is so hard to hear her screaming and not do anything, especially since she definitely seems to prefer me lately (I can calm her down a lot easier than Al can, especially at night). I went up to Beth right when Bridget had calmed down, and then Bridget got cranky again (probably my fault again). The result? I ended up with her the rest of the night. She either sat and played in my lap or ate. When Dad (my dad) said Ryan and Rachel and the kids were on their way over, Erik warned, "Tell them not to pick up the babies--at least not Bridget." Oh, no. I'm becoming that type of a mom. Lord help me, I need to learn to let go. Already.

No real fussiness until right now this morning, and so far we're within her "normal" schedule. She's been in my lap for the last ten minutes reaching for a toy but is getting tired of that game. I'm now down to one-finger typing. We'll see how the rest of the day goes!

little discoveries

Our little girl is already growing up.

On Friday, Bridget discovered that she has a hand. Only one hand, mind you. She is fascinated with her right hand, and will hold it out in front of her inspecting it and then slowly and deliberately pull it in toward her face and insert it into her mouth. Oh, she was chewing on it before, but it was always hit or miss whether her hand actually made it to her mouth. But now she seems to have discovered that her hand is something attached to her body that she can control, and she's doing it. I don't think she's quite figured out that she has fingers yet, though.

I'm pretty sure that wanting to reach out and touch things goes with the hand-finding territory, because Bridget is suddenly much more interested in reaching out and touching her toys, particularly those attached to the playmat. She'll reach out to toys I hold out to her, too, but hasn't really figured out that you need to open your fist in order to wrap your hand around a toy. Yesterday I thought she was close to accidentally rolling over from her back to her stomach on her own since she kept reaching for "Toucan Sam," a purple toucan that (so far) is her favorite toy on the playmat. Her legs were up in the air with her knees bent, and they kept moving from side to side as she reached for Sam. Alas, no rollover. But to mommy's big surprise, she became a lot more active during tummy time, too; she kept struggling to lift her head and seemed determined to go somewhere rather than just lay around.

I've been expecting the head lift for a while now, since Bridget's neck is pretty strong. But she surprised me a lot by making her legs kick and go when she's up on her hands. It makes it look like she wants to crawl! I know ten weeks is way early, although a few babies do crawl as early as in their third month. I really don't think Bridget's quite strong enough yet, and I know it may be months and months before she actually does crawl, but she sure does seem determined! I think it's just fun to see her try. The video below is of her doing the head-lift leg-kick today. Gotta love our little girl!

beware of ceiling fan

I'd like to diverge from the Bridget news in this post to talk about rottweilers. Mya's my second one, and they're a great breed--playful, loving, big, strong, smart, afraid of ceiling fans. Yep, you read right. Mya is afraid of the ceiling fan in Bridget's room.

As amusing as this is--and it was quite amusing seeing her look at it nervously, back out of the room so she could watch it, and bark at it as loudly as she could--it's getting to be a problem. Yesterday I realized she hadn't come in the back half of the house all day because of the ceiling fan. Near the end of the day, she practically ran to get to the safety of our bedroom and the crate. And this morning she refused to come out since she'd have to pass Bridget's room. It doesn't matter if the door is closed or not. I tried convincing her that she doesn't need to be afraid by dragging her in there by the collar and then giving her a treat; she snatched it and ran back to her crate. I decided to leave her in there--Bridget needed to eat--and then had to interrupt the feeding because I could hear Mya making that hole in our bedroom carpet bigger. (They're good dogs, but rottie puppies do tend to chew up everything. It's a phase they grow out of, I'm hoping soon. They also like to dig. That's a little tougher to get them to stop.) I also suspect that the ceiling fan is the reason Mya hasn't been eating--she didn't eat at all yesterday and only ate a little this morning because I shared my scrambled eggs with her.

So there it is. Another thing I have to work on training Mya on. "Ceiling fans are not scary, Mya. They will not hurt you." Of course, my job will be made even harder by the fact that Al has encouraged this irrational fear. I have caught him reaching up and pushing the blades of the fan when Mya has ventured into the room, giggling as she jumps back and runs away. Bad husband. He needs at least as much training as the dog (toilet seat, closing drawers and cupboards, etc.), but I won't get into that. I'm hoping Bridget will be easier. :)

mommy's health (and sanity, too?)

So I'm trying to use the breast-feeding phase to become lighter and healthier. The lighter part is just a given--I've been at least fifty to sixty pounds overweight, based on the ideal weight for my height and age, for several years now. The healthier part has to do with my own health as well as my family's. I want to feed my kid right, for one, and am going to ask my sister-in-law for "cooking lessons" for babyfood (she makes all of Ella's, and even though most of the time it looks like green goop, I know Ella is a very healthy eater). I figure I've got a few months before that needs to start in earnest, and so now is the time for me to start choosing better foods for me and my husband. And although we don't know what kind of cancer mom had or what caused it, the thought of leaving my kid without me early for any reason scares me--a lot. I figure one way to beat an illness, if I ever have one, is to start out healthy (as far as possible) to begin with--give your body something to fight with.

So in the spirit of eating right, I've done my best the past couple of days: in addition to those yummy scrambled eggs the other morning, I fixed grilled salmon, brown rice, and a veggie medley (snap peas, peppers, and red potatoes--one of those Green Giant things) for dinner on Tuesday. It was yummy too! I will admit to eating "brunch" out yesterday--it was supposed to be breakfast, but doesn't always end up that way when we've got Bridget along--I ended up having a tuna melt, which probably wasn't the best choice because of the buttered and fried bread it's on. And we had grilled bacon cheeseburgers for dinner with a side of corn. Also, not the best choice for my have-to-watch-his-cholesterol husband. But there is one thing I have to do to make sure Bridget gets what she needs at this point: be sure I'm eating enough of the "good" fat. The stuff that's in olive oil, some dairy, etc. Because even though our little girl is at least 12 lbs, 12 ozs, the doc wants her to weigh more, and I'm beginning to see why: I'm sure she's grown even taller than the 25 inches she was just eight days ago, and her tummy keeps getting thinner and thinner. It's like she's stretching out! So mommy needs to have at least some fat, hence the bacon and cheese on the at least 90% lean burger she made.

I've continued that philosphy this morning: a bit of fat for Bridget with my new scrambled egg creation, a BTA (Bacon, Tomato, topped with Avocado and with monterey jack thrown in for fun). It ended up being enough for tomorrow, too, so I don't have to worry about making breakfast tomorrow. And Al doesn't have to worry about the cholesterol since he's working today. I'll make tilapia for dinner tonight, probably using up the last tomato I have sitting around, the brown rice that's already cooked, and the corn that we opened last night. Am I making you hungry yet? Of course, mommy still gets her prenatal vitamin on top of it, and I've started drinking more of the 2% milk even though I prefer skim--I'm hoping to give Bridget those calories.

So yes, I'm fueling my body to feed Bridget. But I also want to get more active myself for two reasons: so I can keep up with my kid, give my dog enough exercise, and (of course) lose a few of those extra pounds. I'm already trying to walk with Bridget and Mya each day, and I walk at least a mile every day. This morning I had the brilliant idea to get out the Dance, Dance Revolution 2 game and play that while Bridget had her playtime on the playmat beside me. I'm horrible at it, but it kept me moving and I had worked up a sweat after half an hour and was quite tired. One caveat: nursing bras are not quite up to any bouncing/up and down movement. I would hate to think of trying to run in one--the dance game was enough! And since they say it's not good to wear a tight bra while nursing--for one thing, you could clog a milk duct--the idea of a jog bra is out. So good excuse for no running, and keep the jumping in the dance game to a minimum.

Besides physical health, I'm trying to keep--well, sane. I noticed yesterday that I've been clenching my jaw a lot again. For Rhonda, clenched jaw = stressed. I'm not sure what I'm stressed about, exactly. It may be the fact that Bridget's been crying a lot more than normal the past few days (for which I'm trying feeding her more often today; could be that she's going through a growth spurt and needs the extra food) and that, because Al happened to be home, too, he has become convinced that our daughter doesn't like him (he was trying to help me by taking care of her). It could be because when Al tries to console her, he calls Bridget "B"--"B, what's wrong?" and for some irrational reason I hate it. It could be because I can't keep my big mouth shut when things like that bother me and end up blurting out (angrily), "Her name is Bridget!" before thinking (yeah, that makes things better). It could be a million things, but I'm trying to unclench my jaw when I notice that it's clenched, think before I speak, and be patient with Bridget, Al, and Mya.

Along with keeping sane, I've decided to try to make a loose schedule for Bridget. What I decided upon this morning is working so far: when she wakes up, feed her, then playtime (first on tummy, then on back), feed her again, nap. We've reached this far, and although she cried a bit when I put her down, I could tell she was tired and gave myself a time limit: if she's still crying in fifteen minutes, get her up and feed her. It's so hard to hear my baby cry (for one thing, my body starts thinking she wants to eat, but it's a mental challenge, too) and I almost didn't make it. But just when the fifteen minutes was about to be up and I was about to go in and get her, no more crying. Sound asleep now for twenty-five minutes. The plan for the rest of the afternoon: eat, take a walk, eat, take a nap (during which I'm hoping to prep dinner), eat, playtime, eat. Daddy should be getting home sometime within the last two, and he may take Mya for a second walk; if we're lucky, we can even join him. And if we're lucky, mommy and daddy can actually eat dinner together while Bridget sits in her chair or plays or sleeps. The last feeding of the day, though, goes to daddy. Last night he said it's his favorite time of the day, because she's happy and curls up in his lap and looks up at him adoringly (I added that last part, but I know he loves it).

Now that I've thoroughly bored you with the minute details of my health, sanity, and schedule for the day, I'll say adieu. Be back tomorrow.

pee-yew

Last night, Bridget didn't sleep very well. She was fussing a bit every couple hours or so, but not enough for me to get her up. Just enough for me to check on her. Maybe she's cold, I'd think. I do have her ceiling fan on and she's just in her onesie instead of her footie pajamas. But she does have that warm fuzzy blanket...

Nope. Not the reason. When I got her out of bed eleven-some hours after putting her down (she slept soundly the last two-three hours, probably tired from a night of fussing), I discovered the real reason for her fussiness. She had pooped, probably early in the night, and it had leaked all over. And even though she's still just eating breastmilk, it stank like never before. So much that I almost vomited from the smell--and that's a lot, seeing as how I got used to smells and human excrement when I was taking care of my mother.

Since it was all over, I debated how to pull the onesie over Bridget's head without getting poop all over her face, in her mouth, and mashed into her hair. Al was already running the bathwater for me, but still--you hate to have your daughter eat her own poop. Well, I came up with the perfect solution: get the sharp sewing scissors out and cut the thing off of her (of course, I used great care and aimed the blades away from her face in case she squirmed). I can use it for her Kid's Kwilt when I'm ready to make it (the part that isn't permanently stained). Then into the bathtub she went, and into the laundry with a strong dose of Oxi-Clean goes the sheet. Ah, the joys of being mommy.

forgetful, yet accomplished

I can't believe it. I actually forgot all about posting yesterday. Perhaps it was the fact that I was busy, that Al was around (for a couple of hours before he got called into work, and then got off earlier than usual since we took Erik, Meaghan, and Noah out for a belated birthday dinner), that I had a fairly accomplished day, but I just plain old forgot. And Bridget seems to have "found" her voice in that short period between postings. It's so darn cute.

Yes, yesterday Bridget starting "talking" more than ever. She just chats and goos while I have her on the changing table or her playmat, and it's a different type of chatter than before. It sounds different, for one thing--more pronounced sounds and a wider range of them--and there's a lot more of it. She's even making different sounds when she smiles, and I think she may be trying to find her laugh. Not quite there for the real thing yet, but now we've got a squeal in with the sounds she was making before. And it is so much fun to watch her (and listen to her) talking. Secretly, I'm hoping she's a talker like me. I don't think I could deal with two Al's in the house.

My accomplishment occurred largely in part due to the fact that she took a three and a half hour nap (but she only slept eight hours last night instead of the usual ten, so I think she was just making up for lost sleep) and that Al took care of her after her night feeding. I've almost got the office put back together, something that never got done once baby was coming to town and Al had to move his stuff in here, too. I'm even managing to put a sewing station in here so I can get it out of the dining room. Frankly, the mess drives me crazy. Love to sew (at least quilts), but don't love the way it makes my house look. I even got to talk to Dana while organizing the office (yay!). And since my baby's sleeping, I'm going to clip coupons, make the grocery list, and--if I have time--get more done in here (office) so that we (Bridget and I) can go grocery shopping this afternoon. Unless Al decides he wants to brave the afternoon alone with her and a bottle, in which case I'll go shopping alone. Busy day for mommy!

P.S. Since Al was home, I took the time to make the most wonderfully yummy and healthy breakfast this morning: scrambled eggs with monterey jack cheese, fresh spinach, chopped sun-dried tomatoes and chopped Trader Joe's eggplant cutlets. Yummy!

over the river and through the dale...

Okay, so it's not winter, I don't think there's a river between here and Grandma's house, and I'm not even sure what a dale is, although I think it's some type of field or woods or something. But the rest is true of today: to Grandmother's (and Grandfather's) house we go.

Al had a day off today, although I'm sure he would have loved to work it (Sunday + overtime = good paycheck). When we got up--late, since Bridget slept til about 10:30 am (ish), although we got up a bit earlier than her--Al asked, "What did you want to do today?" Of course, the one thing I mentioned, marking the sprinklers for the crew that's going to come out and put in the electric doggie fence, didn't get done. Other than that, I had no plans. Then I suggested we go to his parents house so they could see Bridget. We always go out to eat with them, and she's usually asleep in her carseat and never even gets unbuckled from it. That's not quality time with their granddaughter!

So Al called his mom. He came back five minutes later and said they wanted to go out to eat. Ugh. But okay, if that's the way they want to see Bridget, that's the way they get to. I want her to spend time with her grandparents, since she won't have the opportunity to spend any time with my mother (okay, sounds strange and sounds like I wouldn't care if she were alive. Not so; just hits home more this way). When Al called back later to confirm, he told them we'd be coming to their house an hour earlier, so we got to do that, at least. Grandma played with her and Grandpa talked to Al and looked at her a couple of times. Then we went out to eat, and Bridget ate while we did--we gave her her bottle early tonight. All in all, it was a good visit, and Grandma said to give her a call and drop by anytime since she's usually home during the day. I might just start doing that every week or so.

The grasping things with her hands looks more and more un-flukelike, too. Today I pointed out the tiny black and white zebra tail that sticks up out of the floor of Bridget's playmat (she was having tummy time and needed something besides me to look at). She grasped it and kept pulling on it, and if it came out of her grasp, she made a point to grab it again. I never thought watching something so insignificant would be so fun, but it is.

Good day, except for this enormous black fly buzzing my head and attracted to my computer screen. It came in when Al had the sliding door open earlier, and is annoying me now. Let's hope it's dead by tomorrow. Until then...

P.S. What was I thinking? Through the woods, not dale. Mommy brain. And hot tub with a beer brain. This pregnancy then breastfeeding thing does a number on your alcohol tolerance level, that's for sure.

a mommy's heart hurts...

...when she suspects her little one's not feeling very good.

Bridget's been a bit fussy since getting her vaccinations Wednesday, but last night her breathing got a little faster and a little more raspy than usual. And she was terribly, terribly fussy last night and again this morning. This morning she even wanted to eat more and I let her, just because I know that it comforts her. She went down pretty easily for a nap about an hour ago, and I'm hoping she sleeps for a while because I suspect she needs it. But if she doesn't, I'll cuddle up with her to feed her and watch the Dollhouse season finale that I never got around to. And cuddle with her some more after that.

Even though she's not feeling very good, Bridget seems to have learned something new today: she can grasp things with her hands and then put them in her mouth. I first noticed in between feedings number one and two today. I had her sitting in my lap facing me and one of her blankets was over both of our legs. She studied the blanket and (it seemed to me) very deliberately put her hands forward, pulled the blanket toward her, and started chomping on it. I would have thought it was a fluke, except she kept doing it--and did it later with a little toy I gave her (it's a dog's head on a little square of a blanket, so like a stuffed animal and blanket all in one). It was so interesting to watch her work with her hands other than trying to stuff them into her mouth.

Mommy's tired today, but this is the first day since I mentioned it that I'm consciously trying to eat and make healthier choices. Instead of chocolate chip cookies, I had oatmeal for breakfast, and I ate a home-made egg salad sandwich on 12-grain bread (egg salad made with light mayo) and red grapefruit for lunch. I just want to make sure I'm taking in enough calories, though, and trying to think ahead to dinner (and a snack in between, since we don't eat until about 8:00 pm when Al's working) to keep it healthy--and throw in a veggie or two. Hmm...

Gonna go sew while I have the chance. I haven't forgotten Lily's crib set, or Kustom Kribs--just sneaking in a few minutes here and there to work on it whenever possible!

goo, goo, ga, ga

In last week's episode of Bones, Dr. Temperance Brennan, a very intellectual, practical woman, picks up a crying baby and starts swinging her around in her arms. "You like spatial disorientation, don't you?" she asks. Dr. Brennan, true to her character, doesn't seem to fall into the baby-talk category. Yeah, well, that's not true for me, a wanna-be English professor turned mommy.

I now talk baby talk. And for some reason, it comes up in this unnaturally high voice. And although I do throw in several full sentences, and nice questions like, "How was your nap? Did you have good dreams?", I find myself making Bridget's noises back to her too. Or trying to. Amazing how hard that little girl is to imitate.

Not only do I speak baby, but I make all kinds of faces and make up my own lyrics to songs. (Maybe I should amend that: it's speaking mommy, not baby. I hear this is a common phenomenon among moms.) The one exception that I have to speaking baby, er, mommy, is one thing I did pick up from Bones: wiggling my fingers in her face and saying, "Phalanges!" (It's in a season two episode, I believe--"The Baby in the Bough" or tree or whatever--and is repeated in last week's episode.) But even more amazing to me is that I do all of these things in public without a thought as to what other people think. Bye, bye self-consciousness, hello longing to see that big, amazing smile and the dimple in Bridget's left cheek.

I've also come up with a million, gazillion nicknames for Bridget--so many that she may not know her own name for a long, long time. Al called her "Pumpkin" for quite a while, but I haven't heard that from him lately; now he's trying out "B" (my sister will like that, since that's what she calls herself sometimes). Mommy's not quite as sophisticated. Besides calling her Bridget, I call her Bridge, Bridgie, Sweetie, Cutie, Cutie Patootie, Cutie Pie, Pooper, Pooper Scooper (although I suppose that would actually be me, not her), Beautiful, Pretty Girl, Big Girl, Little Girl, etc. All of the endearing names, all of the adjectives that can describe a baby, and all of the rhymes I can think of. At this point, she doesn't really care what I call her. If she's not overtired or hungry, she'll smile and do her little gurgle laugh (which sounds more and more like she's trying to imitate me when I do a fake, "ha ha ha" before I laugh for real--I'm sure I'm just imagining that, though) when I talk to her as long as I'm smiling and saying it in a fun tone. It doesn't really matter what I say!

As I take time to love holding my daughter, staring into her face and feeling like the happiest, most blessed person in the world when she smiles because I'm talking to her, so many emotions swirl through me: love is most prominent. A bit of protectiveness, not wanting anyone to ever hurt her: those bullies on the playground that will call her "Carrot Top" (that one hurt my feelings til my mom told me to tell them "Thank You" next time they did it--they never did it again after that), boys that she'll like who may not like her back (how could anyone not fall in love with this little girl the moment they see her? I can't imagine it any other way), men that may not have her best interests at heart. And a bit of sorrow--sorry in losing my mom.

I thought that losing my own mom would get easier over time, but it hurts more and more each day as I think of what I'd like to share with her and of how she's missing her granddaughter's life or even got to know that she'd have a second (and now a third, with Lily) granddaughter. As I think of how she must have been with me when I was born (although almost ten years younger than I am now, so I imagine her and dad more like Rachel and Ryan with Ella). Mom loved kids and wanted grandchildren so much. She had a roomful of children's books and toys just waiting for them and now she can't share them with the grandkids. She was a nanny and volunteered in the nursery at church, and always gave away big boxes of children's books when someone invited her to a baby shower. Yesterday, as I sat down and read Bridget's first book to her, I found myself wishing mom had picked out at least one book for my child and given it to me. Which one would she love? Which one would she pick for a baby Bridget's age? How would she go about reading it--would she read the words, or make up her own words or just point things out?

This post took a turn I didn't expect, but one thing I'll say is that I appreciate my mom more and more now that I'm one. I wish she was still here so I could tell her. I miss you, mom.

big babies, big puppies

The doctor established it for me yesterday: I have a big baby. Not big as in chubby, really (doc does want her to gain more weight), but big as in tall (I don't care if she can't stand on her own yet--she is tall, not long--and she is getting to where she likes to stand with help, although she is top-heavy and leans forward). And a neighbor I met while walking in the neighborhood on Tuesday wondered why Bridget seems so much more mature than her baby, who is ten days older than Bridget. I'm assuming part of it's her size, but the fact that she was awake and the other girl was sleeping could have had something to do with it. And since Stacy (neighbor, and maybe new friend, since she said that she'll drop by the house sometimes to see if I want to go walking) teaches and coaches high school girl's soccer, she may not be breastfeeding and that may just have something to do with it. This is all just wild speculation, of course.

Most of you know that in addition to a big baby, I have a big puppy: a sixty-pound, nine-month old rottweiler. It's an established fact by now that Al does not get along with her. She nips at him (and he thinks it's full-out biting) and jumps on him all the time, and he gets angry and in her face. Even Caesar would tell Al that his energy is not good for the puppy, that it just gets her more excited, and that he has to maintain a "calm aggressive" attitude around her. Well, I'm not sure about all of his techniques, but I do know that issuing commands calmly and not giving her attention when she's acting out helps tremendously. I also know that it helps not to be nervous about her actions around her, which Al has been since the moment we got her: afraid that when the baby came Mya would hurt her (and now that Bridget's here, he's even more afraid). Well, my husband may not listen to me, but I'll give some advice for dealing with babies and puppies that other moms might like. After all, mommy knows best! (Well, sometimes.)

First bit of advice I got from the vet: bring home a blanket that you've wrapped your baby in before you come home from the hospital and give it to your puppy. This seems to work for a lot of parents/dog owners, but my puppy sniffed it, peed on it, and went back to playing with my sister's dog (she stayed with Beth while we were in the hospital). But the second piece of advice (also from the vet) has been more valuable: don't try to keep the puppy away from the baby. Instead, lay the baby on the floor on the blanket and let the dog have a whiff. If you try to keep the puppy away, she'll just get jealous and resent the child. But if you let your dog near the child, it will become protective of the little tyke as he/she grows and be a good play companion. I have no problem putting Bridget on a blanket or her playmat and letting Mya walk over, sniff her butt (hey, I've found a few wet diapers that way) and give her a few kisses before telling her "that's enough" and making it necessary for me to bathe Bridget all over again. Mya has never used (or tried to use) her teeth on Bridget. Since she doesn't seem to realize that walking on top of people is not a normal thing to do, though, I do watch her and guide her away from Bridget when her big paws get too close.

One thing I've been doing on my own, without advice from anyone, is setting Bridget on top of Mya or right next to her when Mya's laying down and resting. I want her to get used to having Bridget climb all over on top of her, which I'm sure she'll be doing in a few months. Of course, I'm still holding Bridget there at this point (not quite sitting up on her own at two months), so I'm also able to move her quickly if she does something that scares/startles Mya. And another thing I'm doing? Making sure to have puppy time, too. It's hard to get in puppy play/cuddle time when you have an infant, and Mya had almost all of my attention before Bridget was born. At times I think she's a bit depressed, so I do my best to play with her and cuddle with her for a few minutes each day. I also take her on walks with Bridget and I--she does great with the stroller when I have her Gentle Leader on.

So, there are my little bits of advice for those of you with big dogs and small babies. Of course, you have to know your dog and work with it, so take my advice with a grain of salt.

I do have other Bridget news: last night was her first night in her own room, and she slept the entire ten (plus twenty minutes) hours she's been sleeping for a couple of weeks. I only heard her in the monitor once, and even the big storm didn't wake her up (it did me, though, and I was trying to remember if I have batteries in the unit in her bedroom as backup--I'll have to check on that). What a big girl I have! Okay, better get lunch while she's calm in her crib. Not sleeping, as far as I know, but she was pretty tired after eating...

two-month checkup

Bridget is already two months old. I can't believe how fast time has flown! We brought her in for her two-month checkup and vaccinations today. Here are the stats on our little girl:

• 12 pounds, 12 ounces (95th percentile in weight, and the doctor wants her to weigh more! that's because of her height...)
• 25 inches--that's over two feet tall, people! (off the charts for her age)

The vaccinations were heartbreaking for both mommy and daddy. She screamed so loud and then held her breath for what seemed like minutes (although I'm sure it was only seconds). We both (mom and dad) had tears in our eyes, although none spilled over onto our cheeks. I held Bridget until she calmed down and then we went to lunch, where she couldn't keep her eyes off of Uncle Dennis and little Mikey (who turned one on Saturday) was told he can't touch her until she's eighteen, and most likely not even then (he was grabbing for her highchair/carseat, and Dennis was afraid he would pull her over).

The doc said she might be warmer to the touch or fussier than normal due to the vaccinations. She said we could give her Infant Tylenol if that was the case. I don't have any, so when she was super-fussy after her 1:00 pm eating, I did what I've done a couple of times before: turned iTunes onto the visualizer and stood in front of the computer rocking back and forth and singing. She loves to hear me sing (I've been told I have a good voice, but I don't think babies care much about that--it's just that I'm her mom) and those moving blobs of light and color fascinate her. She actually stayed wide awake watching it through at least three songs, including "What Do You Dream About?" by Barenaked Ladies (great song for parents about babies). She's sleeping now, thus the blogging. It's too late in the day for me, a morning person, to start working (although originally that was the plan since it's Al's only day off this week). I'm going to start getting up at 4:00 am to get in an hour and a half each day before pumping, showering, and feeding her. If I get tired, I can nap if/when she does. If there's not other stuff that needs doing. :)

I'm going to put another thing on my growing to-do when Bridget's asleep (or playing--she lays on her playmat for between twenty minutes to an hour at a time now, so that's nice!) list: learning more and more about nutrition for breastfeeding moms and for food-eating babies. I'd like to make my own baby food when she does eat, and I think it might be easiest to do so like my sister-in-law does: by processing what we eat and feeding it to her. That means we should eat healthier, which I've been trying to do anyway since I'm breastfeeding. And why not get in a good, nutritious diet and try to work in more exercise (at least we try to do walks on non-rainy days) while I'm burning the extra breastfeeding calories? I figure that I've already lost my baby weight, so I'll try to go for more. My face looks so much skinnier in pics from seven or eight years ago, and I really would like to lose that weight I put on. But I'm not talking diet here; low calories wouldn't be good for my baby. I'm talking changing lifestyles. So I'll try, and let you know how the progress goes (if you don't hear anything, that means not very good progress, or not trying, or...). I'll start with these tips, which should be fairly easy to accomplish:

• Eat vegetables such as broccoli, cauliflower, bell peppers, squash and beans
• Eat fruits such as apples, berries, plums, oranges, peaches, and melons
• Eat whole grains such as whole-wheat breads, rye bread, and brown rice

I got those tips from this article, which also has some other good info. Hmm...now what to make for dinner tonight? I'll do my best to make it nutritious!