thirty-five weeks

It's hard to believe that I'm already in the middle of my thirty-fifth week of pregnancy. I wasn't really able to concentrate on the pregnancy the first two trimesters since mom was ill, but the time since her death has flown by. Now that I'm uncomfortable enough for it to end soon (well, as soon as I finish the house), time will probably stand still.

One funny thing about pregnancy is the multiple ways it changes your body. For example, I haven't been able to see my own feet in quite a while, at least if I'm standing and looking straight down. In order to see my feet, I either have to (a) sit; (b) be standing with my legs wide apart, as I do when I'm doing my squats for physical therapy; or (c) stick my butt out in the air and bend over slightly before looking down. Even putting my socks on is a struggle now, and every once in a while I'll just give up and ask Al to do it for me. I gave up on shoes long ago, realizing that my feet were slightly swollen (my shoes were tight) and substituting shoes for my fuzzy, slip-on slippers from Target--the ones with the good soles that I can wear outside. But this morning I noticed something entirely different about my feet, and it's the increasing infrequency with which I see them that makes me wonder, When did that happen?

This morning as I was sitting struggling to put my jeans on (yes, this has become a struggle too, since the belly makes it quite difficult to lift my legs, bend over, etc., and nowadays the slightest pressure on my bladder, which is almost constant, sends the wrong signal to my brain--run to the bathroom!), I noticed huge cankles where my ankles used to be. Now, I never had tiny, pretty ankles, but they weren't exactly cankles, either. And my feet--my goodness, my feet are huge. Forget size nine-or-ten depending on the shoe make; forget a "wide" foot instead of normal or narrow; they look like balloons shaped like feet and blown almost as tightly as possible. Even my toes seem almost twice as fat as they did yesterday. And yes, I'm thinking that this happened overnight, not gradually. I was slightly swollen before, but now I'm very, very swollen. It's not painful, though, and I'm thinking it's from all of the standing around that I did at Al's party last night. I'm also wondering if this is one of those things on the doctor's "call us right away if this happens" list that I misplaced sometime last month. But since I'm not in pain and they're not discolored or anything (now that would be a sight), I'm not going to worry about it until my doctor's appointment on Wednesday. There's too much to do around the house to risk being put on bedrest or something.

Aside: As a non-pregnant person, I always thought that bedrest would not be a bad thing, particularly if you're working and ordered to stop. Sitting around all day being waited on and reading or watching television or movies--sounds divine! Then mom got sick. She was in bed for nearly twenty weeks and literally could not get up. She had to have everything done for her, ended up getting bed sores, and was an angel through it all. I would have died from boredom long before she did. I don't know how she could stand it. And as a pregnant person, the worst place I have to be in a twenty-four hour period is in bed. Sounds funny, I know, but it's so uncomfortable--not being able to be on my back, having hips that ache, the necessity to turn over like a pig on a spit every half hour to an hour (but not as easily as a pig on a spit)--it's almost torture. Even just sitting around in the recliner or couch all day would be a bad thing since I get uncomfortable after a while and Mya has to go in and out and there are things to be done around the house...but let's just hope that doesn't happen. The one reason I can think of having to be put on bed rest would be toxemia, but I've always had perfect blood pressure--before and during pregnancy, and even up to last Wednesday. Thus the wait til this week's doctor's appointment. Besides, I don't have super-reflexes. :)

Aside being put aside, I just realized that in all this talk about swelling I haven't mentioned my carpal tunnel lately. That's because it feels virtually nonexistant. I haven't had tingling in my fingers in quite a while, even in my left hand (that was worse than my right lately), and my hands and wrists don't feel weak--or even the slightest strain--unless I'm doing something extreme (like washing my car at one of those hand-operated power washes like I did last week). I'm still trying to take it easy on my wrists and hands since I know that the reports show muscle damage and this could all be due to those latent steroids that finally kicked in and keep working better all the time. But the doctor didn't seem to think that was how these steroids work, so it could just be a lot of answered prayer. The swelling in my hands seems to be less, but it's hard to tell since I haven't been wearing my rings lately and there is still a bit of swelling there (but they don't look like balloons!). All I can say is praise God for some relief from pain. I was getting worried that I'd have a hard time holding my baby if the tingling and numbness kept up. I'll still go back to that doctor in April to make sure that, if there is any permanent muscle/nerve damage, we work on getting it fixed, but I'll take the relief I can get for now. It's a blessing, and I'm grateful for it.

Til next time...